"Santa Claus Is My Grandfather!"

Art by Anne Marit Bergstrom, Dakota Drawings

Peanut, my 9 year old, believes in Santa Claus. And why wouldn’t he? His Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather, William John “Jock” Ferguson, was rumored to have deposited candy in the shoes left out by children in his neighborhood of Dumfries, Scotland, on Saint Nicholas’ Day.

His son, John Ferguson, was born on Christmas Day in 1838, and has a very interesting story.

At the age of 14, John embarked on a journey to America with his father, “Jock”, his mother and sister, both named Elizabeth. Sadly, Jock did not ever see American shores. He died during the journey, was sewn up into a gunny sack and was given a proper sea burial.

John, the same age as my oldest son, Bud, then took on the overwhelming responsibility of taking care of his mother (who was expecting another baby) and his sister. They landed in New Orleans and took a steamer to St. Louis. John found work on a Mississippi River steamer as a deck hand. At the outbreak of the Civil War, John served as a night watchman on the steamer, New Falls City, which operated between St. Louis and New Orleans. From there, he went to live in his grandfather’s home in south central Missouri.

John enlisted in the Missouri Militia in 1862 and served with them until he volunteered for the army. He joined the 3rd Missouri Cavalry at Rolla, Missouri, and was honorably discharged in 1865.

Following the war, John served as justice of the peace in a town in south central Missouri. He retired in 1938, just shy of his 100th birthday. “Squire” John, as he was affectionately known in his hometown, served as state commander of the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR).

John Ferguson died January, 1940, at the age of 101.

It is very interesting to know that “Squire” John was small in stature and had a long, flowing beard, and twinkling blue eyes that complemented his happy smile. He was known to have a very generous heart – just like his father, the man who delivered candy to children in his native Scotland home.

Perhaps Peanut’s interpretation of his Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather being Santa Claus isn’t too far off. His son carried on in his tradition. Now, whenever Peanut is asked if he believes in Santa Claus, he responds enthusiastically, “Yes, I do! He was my Grandfather!”

I am thrilled to know that Santa Claus will live forever as long as Peanut continues to tell this story.

Enjoy the Ice Cream While It Is On Your Plate!

I read this really great quote the other day that someone in my office uses as part of his signature on all of his emails and it totally hit me in the head with the intensity of one of those ice cream headaches…..only less painful.

I am, as I am sure most of my readers are, a bit of a worrier. What if I buy the blue sweater and decide that nothing goes with it? What if I can’t afford groceries at the end of this month? What if I lose my job next year? What if….what if??.....what if???

There are days where it consumes me. But this quote really seemed to put a new perspective on, not only my love of ice cream but, my love of life.

This quote:

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy the ice cream while it’s on your plate.” -Thornton Wilder

…is so great on so many levels. Here is my interpretation. The obvious message Mr. Wilder, (American writer and playwright, best known for the Pulitzer Prize awarded play OUR TOWN (1938)) is telling us is that we need not worry about why things happen to you in life and when they are going to happen to you but, rather, enjoy the present. Live in the moment and enjoy it. Forget the things that are beyond your control.

Here is something else to consider that I will bet Mr. Wilder did not. The flavor of ice cream is at its fullest when the temperature of the ice cream is 40 degrees Fahrenheit. It is neither too hot, nor too cold for the product, but it has tempered, like a good wine that has been allowed to “open up” in order for you to experience the fullest aromas and flavors of every ingredient in its recipe.

So enjoy what you have. It will always be a balance of good and bad. Life is sometimes served cooler than the optimal level of enjoyment, sometimes hotter. But life is best enjoyed when it is tempered so that you can get the fullest taste of all the tastes it has to offer. Flavors and textures, chunky or smooth, sweet or salty. No matter how it tastes, enjoy it. While it is on you plate.

What better reason than to scoop yourself a bowl of the sweet stuff of life – and the bigger the serving…the better!

How Martha Stewart Taught Me A Lesson

I am writing this blog for a couple of reasons: one, to reinforce to my loved ones that I DO cook but prefer not to and, two, to remind myself to recognize my strengths and weaknesses and to remember my limitations this holiday.

I have been known to succumb to the hypnotic presentations of the happy home-maker and reformed tax evader, Martha Stewart. She may have fallen for some bad advice from her accountant but that woman makes holiday preparation look like mere child’s play.

A few years back, I had called in sick to work. In my weakened state, I lay on the couch, surrounded by half-drank mugs of tea, dry toast and Kleenex boxes but managed to find the strength to channel-surf my way to an Oprah episode. Martha Stewart, her guest, was preparing to make “home-made white hot chocolate and marshmallows”. Now….to me, “home-made” hot chocolate comes from an envelope pouch and why-on-Earth-anyone would-want-to-make-marshmallows-instead-of-picking-up-the-99-cents-per-bag-kind is completely beyond me.

“You actually make marshmallows?” asked Oprah. “Don’t they just grow in the wild or something?”

But it was Martha Stewart…and I have been known to be a bit of an over-achiever.

The beautifully hand-made white hot chocolate (white, as in the kind of chocolate, not the temperature at which it is served) was garnished with a beautiful hand cut marshmallow in the shape of a star. The presentation was lovely. This became my new holiday mission: to prepare the best-ever hot chocolate and home-made marshmallows and serve it to my amazed family at the big Christmas dinner and serve it up like Martha Stewart would….like it was no effort at all. They would gasp and leap out of their chairs to pat me on the back and laud my culinary masterpiece.

A few days later, I obtained the recipe from Oprah’s website and planned my grocery store excursion. My odd assortment of ingredients that I purchased must have cost me somewhere in the area of $10 - $12, only slightly more than what I would have paid for a 10.5 oz. bag of “Campfire®” Marshmallows. But the impression these delights would make would be worth the effort!

December 23…two days before the big Christmas “festivus” and I set to work on making the marshmallows. Did you know that when you make candy and boil it, you must use a candy thermometer (another item I needed to purchase for this recipe) and you have to be VERY careful at what temperature your concoction reaches? This recipe called for 244 - 248 degrees. Not 243 degrees…not 249 degrees. Do you know what that is called? The “firm ball” stage. There is also a “hard ball stage” and a “hard crack” stage. Okay, that makes me laugh a little.

Anyway…the procedure was quite complicated but in the end, the mixture slightly resembled the appearance of actual marshmallows….but a little more grey (that should have been my first sign!). I poured the mix into the pan and dusted it with powdered sugar and waited for it to set overnight.

The next day, Christmas Eve, I took my new star-shaped cookie cutters (also newly purchased, along with the candy thermometer, now bringing my marshmallow escapade to somewhere close to $15-$20) and pressed it into the, now hardened, marshmallow mixture. And by hardened…I mean one rock-solid mass of marshmallow-resembling putty. It was as if Martha Stewart was mocking me. She was laughing and pointing from the bottom of the pan, crying out to me: “What EVER made you think you could match my skills in the kitchen! You fool! You FOOL!!!!” (cue the Martha Stewart evil laugh).

No matter how hard I pressed that cookie cutter into the pan of marshmallows…or, rather…tile grout….it wouldn’t budge. It would not cut the mixture. Not to be outsmarted by marshmallows, I unleashed the steak knives on ‘em.

Christmas Day arrived and the family was gathered around my table. After finishing the perfectly prepared holiday meal, I presented the family with mugs of the Hot White Chocolate (this recipe was much easier to execute and reached a higher level of success). On a separate platter, as a condiment to the hot chocolate, were grey pieces of “art” more closely resembling white landscaping rock than star-shaped marshmallows.

The family was stunned. They were all silent for a moment before they burst into laughter. Confused as to what to do with the landscaping rock, I performed a visual demonstration: “First,” I said, “You take the mug of White Hot Chocolate – a recipe I got from Oprah and Martha Stewart – and then you top it with a couple of my HOME MADE MARSHMALLOWS!” I dropped them into the mug and stirred it around. I drank it and made an “Mmmmmm!” sound just to reinforce to them that it was safe to consume.

“You make marshmallows??” someone asked. “Don’t they just grow in the wild or something?” Hmmm….seems I have heard this line before…..

They looked awful….but they tasted like marshmallows, just extra firm. An expensive and time consuming lesson to learn from my buddy, Martha. Next time I want marshmallows in my hot chocolate, I will buy a bag of ‘em from the neighborhood grocery.

So the moral of the story?

Know your limitations. If you can cook…cook. If you can’t…cook with cash. And if you try and fail, laugh at yourself and drink hot chocolate anyway.

Blue Bunny Perfectly Peppermint Ice Cream Sundae Makes Everything All Better!

I am sitting here in front of my computer, composing my blog, and suddenly it hits me. Gripped in fear, I stare at the calendar and realize that I have three weeks to complete my holiday activities.

It always amazes me that in my family’s attempt to simplify the hustle and bustle, it always seems that we end up making it slightly more complicated. We end up drawing names, patronizing the local Chinese food restaurant following 4 p.m. Christmas Eve service (a tradition that I established several years ago in tribute to my favorite holiday movie: “A Christmas Story”), and reducing the Christmas Day gathering to finger foods. My OWN contributions to simplification are that I have removed the dreaded “Christmas Letter” from my holiday cards (even though I “hear about it” from family members who inform me that this is the only way they know what the boys and I are up to year after year), and simplified my in-home holiday décor to a decorated tree, a singular strand of “fat” bulbs along the roofline of my home, and evergreen-scented candles scattered around my living room and kitchen areas. Less is more. Right?

So then why do I still feel like the next 21 days will be lived in a scurry of frenzy-fied shopping, card-signing and envelope addressing, adopt-a-family coordination, Sunday School Christmas program planning and band/choir holiday program monitoring. Throw in piano-practicing-getting-ready-for-the-Christmas-recital, work holiday party and food-bringing preparation, cookie-baking, and meal planning and you have a recipe for "The Holiday Crazies".

I always remain hopeful that I might find a moment or two to myself. Wishful thinking.

But, I did read on the website, icecream.net (of which, your's truly's blog is featured!), some fun facts about candy canes that – despite my terror as to how I will navigate these next few weeks – really kind of got me in the mood for the holidays AND reminded me of a really yummy ice cream sundae that I only make this time of year. If you want to read the Candy Cane Fun Facts, visit the site….if you want to read about how to make the most yummy holiday sundae ever….read on. It is so easy and is really festive if you place it in red or green plastic cups. All I do is take a couple of scoops of Blue Bunny Perfectly Peppermint ice cream (this is a seasonal flavor and supplies are limited in stores so you will want to get three or four cartons of it – trust me!!) then drizzle some chocolate sauce or hot fudge topping and marshmallow crème topping over the scoops. Top with whipped cream and garnish with a candy cane. I am telling you that this is the sweetest and easiest ice cream dish…perfect for little holiday get-togethers or when (and if!!) you find that singular moment to yourself.

Let’s all pledge to each other that we will take a moment to sit calmly and listen to the holiday music on the radio and enjoy a little Blue Bunny Perfectly Peppermint ice cream sundae. It is the sweetest anecdote to the Holiday Crazies. Good luck…..

Stay tuned….Next Tuesday's blog will be about how Martha Stewart taught me a valuable lesson one holiday.

Holy Cow! My Planets Are Aligned!

At the risk of sounding a little melodramatic, I have to tell you that I feel like something great is about to happen! For most of my close friends and family, they will tell you that one of my top favorite reasons to watch TV (and, believe me…there aren’t many of ‘em!) is the show, “Deal or No Deal”. It usually airs on Monday nights (and has been peppering NBC primetime a few extra nights during the week) and I gather the boys around the ol’ tube and we watch people jumping up and down, screaming like goofballs…all in an attempt to win one (or on some occasions) multiple millions of dollars.

A confession: I actually sent in an audition tape this summer featuring my boys, Max The Wonderdog, and myself in an attempt to be considered as one of those maniacal contestants. Sigh! No invitations from that good lookin’ bald guy or his miserly banker.

Yet, I wait.

However….I happened to be scrolling through the website for NBC to find out what the holiday programming would be this week (OK – so I am a sucker for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Peanuts Christmas Special) and I noticed that “Deal or No Deal” is not airing tonight. WHAT’S THE ‘DEAL’?? or…more appropriately….WHERE’S THE ‘DEAL’??? Hey, Howie….how can I get through my Monday without arm-chair quarterbacking your screaming constant??

To make matters worse – and to confirm my conspiracy theory that Howie and The Banker are in cahoots to keep me from consulting with the contestants telepathically from my living room - I found out that the show is airing in other markets (for my family and friends who watch this show in OTHER markets – check your local programming…it airs this week, just not in my area….I am sure YOU will find it in your area). Anyway…..I digress.

But, wait…what’s this?? An ad for my favorite ice cream on the planet?? A Blue Bunny ad that, when you click on it, takes you to the Blue Bunny webpage which features a holiday message and FREE song download for one of my favorite a cappella singing groups, Tonic Sol-fa??? Do my eyes deceive me or is Howie trying to make up for the fact that his show will NOT air this week on NBC in Sioux City, Iowa? I nearly gasped when I realized that my worlds have collided and so many things I adore (Deal or No Deal, Blue Bunny ice cream, and Tonic Sol-fa) are all connected in one cyber-riffic circle of relevance!!

My planets are aligned! Something good is going to happen…I can just feel it. Maybe Howie will call me with that personal invitation to appear on his show and be the first contestant to win a record-breaking, bank-busting amount of cash! Or maybe I will simply be able to download a fab Christmas song for…..uh-huh! Oh-yeah!!...FREE…..AND see Blue Bunny’s name splashed all over a popular reality TV show website!

How sweet is that??

"The Conclusion!" - The Bahamas Experience, Part VII

Saturday morning presented itself as a calmer and sunnier version of Friday. Following breakfast, P.O.D., fully suffering from the effects of his head cold, and I packed our beach gear – sunscreen, books, sunglasses – the usual accoutrement - and headed to breakfast and then to our “secret spot” at the Sheraton pool. It was wonderful. Warm sun and not as much wind. We read and sunned ourselves until lunchtime.

After lunch we had plotted our course to the Queen’s Staircase (we were told a “must see” for anyone staying in Nassau) and Fort Charlotte. Dinner was to be at Café Matisse, a very well-to-do restaurant. P.O.D. has an obsession with gnocchi and we were informed that the best gnocchi this side of Italy could be found here. Tonight was to be our final night and we wanted to share a romantic meal and cap this adventure off on a good note.

However, P.O.D. was miserable. He was wiped out from his virus and really just wanted to nap. I was restless and really just wanted to get out of the hotel. So, a mutual decision was made that he would sleep it off in the hotel room for the afternoon and I would find my own fun.

After tucking him in and heading downstairs. With $40 in my pocket, I headed to the two straw markets across the street and picked up a few locally handcrafted items and took a leisurely stroll through the area just across the road from our hotel. Glancing at my watch, I realized that I still had about 2 hours before I would return to the room. I was cautious about getting too far away from the safety of our hotel’s neighborhood, so I decided to head back to the hotel and try my luck with the “one-arm bandits”. Not one to gamble too much (I figured I had already done enough gambling on this trip, already)…I took and additional $40 out of my checking account via an ATM and determined that when it was gone….it was gone.

Now, you have to understand how I am about selecting a slot machine on which I play. I stalk the casino floor and wait until I feel a vibe coming from one of them that drags me in. This has only proven successful to me once or twice in my life, but I certainly had the time and I really didn’t want to lose $40 of my hard-earned cash. So I stalked. I had decided that a quarter machine was about as “rich” as I would go because I needed to make my 40 bucks last at least an hour or better. I preyed upon what seemed to be the weakest member of the slot machine pack and planted myself in front of my “victim”, a “Lucky 7’s” machine who “felt” like it was ready to hit.

I fed it a $20 bill. 80 credits and I was ready to begin. I learned some time ago that you always select “MAX BET”, which means you bet 3 quarters, or 75 cents. This way, if you hit a “pay line”, you get three times, or maximum, the payout.

I pushed “MAX BET”. I got a two credit pay out. Again. Another two credit pay out. Over and over, I pressed the “MAX BET” button. Sometimes it would pay a few credits, sometimes not. But I had a good feeling about this machine.

When my credit level was at 60, I hit. 1,000 credits - $250! I had only invested $5. I couldn’t believe it! I sat with a “cat who ate the canary” grin on my face while my credits added up, dinging steadily for the next couple of minutes. I looked around thinking to myself that I couldn’t believe I “hit”. I rarely ever win. And now I was watching my credit total adding up before my eyes.

I pressed “MAX BET” again. A few flirts with pay outs. I was not going to let my total get below 1,000. Then, at 1,020….I hit again. Another 1,000 credits! Then another 100 credits.

My total waxed and waned until I decided that at 2,144 credits (or $536), I was going to call it quits. My machine had given it up for me and I was grateful. I printed out my winnings receipt and took it to the pay out machine (like an ATM but the cash is "free" - what a brilliant idea!), a silly grin spread across my face the whole time. I had to count my cash two or three times so that it felt real. Five one-hundred dollar bills, a twenty, a ten, a five, and a one dollar bill. Take the original $20 investment out of the winnings and I had a total booty of $516 of winnings. My biggest “take” ever.

I took a walk, still dazed and confused but smiling like a complete "goob".

One hour and a half left before I wanted to return to the room. I enjoyed some time at the beach, reflecting on the past few days and years of my life, the sun warming my shoulders. Then I gathered myself up and took a slow, yet celebratory walk back to my hotel room, stopping for an ice cream at the hotel cafeteria. Rum Raisin….and it was so good.

Upon my return to the hotel room, P.O.D. and I celebrated my good fortune – a bit of my own legal piracy in the Bahamas. I handed over the winnings and told him to apply it toward our travel expenses – we had accrued a few more expenses than originally anticipated – and we readied ourselves for what would be a wonderful meal and a wonderful end to our “Bahamas Experience”.

Our trips home proved to be relatively uneventful and we were grateful for an experience which would not only test our mettle as a couple but it taught us that even though things did not go as planned, we were able to improvise and enjoy a few small joys along the way.

There is beauty and wonder in everything that happens to us – both the good and bad. Life doesn’t always go as planned but it is how you deal with the curve balls that prove who you are as a person. And it is often the little things like an unexpected dance, a good bottle of wine, a little windfall, gnocchi, or a dish of Rum Raisin ice cream that lets you know that…well….everything is going to be okay after all.

If you are willing to look long enough, a silver lining to each cloud will always present itself. Or maybe…..no matter how bad it gets…..you can always find a little ice cream.

"Yo-Ho-Ho!" - The Bahamas Experience - Part VI

Friday morning, I awoke at 5 a.m. and could not get back to sleep. But we had left the curtains open so that we could wake up to our ocean view. From where I lay, when I opened my eyes, I was able to, over the course of the next hour, watch the sunrise over the ocean and observe a large cruise ship make its way across the horizon to the port at Nassau. At first, in the purple-y light of dawn, the ship looked like an island with everyone’s lights turned on. Then, I realized that it was moving. I have never seen an actual cruise ship, outside of those commercials where people are climbing rock walls and dancing with the captain.

Another cruise ship (in the daylight), bound for the port of Nassau...

This morning was all about “beach time”. Now, you have already learned that P.O.D. does not care for sunbathing, casinos, and wrist-band-wearing…all of which had found their way into our itinerary.

Sunbathing (for us) is tricky. I, against my skin’s better judgment, am a sun worshipper. He, is a self-described “pasty white guy who prefers shade and a good book” while on the beach.

Since P.O.D. had naughtily removed his wrist band (read about P.O.D.’s distaste for wrist bands in my 11/14/08 blog entry), I had to pick up two towels from the towel cabana, just adjacent to the pool construction zone – if you thought it was loud from 5 stories up…! We negotiated the beach front (preferring the beach atmosphere to that of a pool at the Sheraton) and surveyed the chaise lounge situation. We found a perfect spot: one chaise lounge chair in the sun and one, resting in the shade of a palm-frond-roofed permanent umbrella.

I think a weatherman would describe the beach climate as “Mostly cloudy with moments of sun and a gale-force wind blowing in from the ocean.” He would have been mostly accurate. The term, ‘gale force” is kind. As I lay in my chair, the sun darting in and out, I go from warm to cool, depending upon the relationship of clouds to sun. But, the continual battering of wind – begins to burn the inside of my nose and I can’t hardly stand it.

“Okay,” I announce to P.O.D. “We are going to find a windbreak!” He finally admits that he, too, is cold. We relent and venture over to the Sheraton. I am prepared to drop him like a hot potato if the wrist band police discover that he is sunning himself at the Sheraton pool without his Wyndham jewelry. We find the perfect cove behind a sculpted rock formation next to the pool. It is secluded and we rejoice that no one had the wherewithal to think to look for a spot to sun themselves away from the beach. There is no wind. There is a lounge chair in the sun and one in the shade of the rock. A single palm tree planted atop the rock formation floats above us and it is the only reminder that it is windy “up above”. Now, each time the clouds pass between me and the sun, it is a cool break from its sizzle upon my skin. Ahhhh.

My view from the chaise lounge in our "new" spot from The Sheraton Pool:

We decide that we will come back here tomorrow.

When the blue skies submit to more and more clouds, we head to the Sheraton, this time, for lunch. While we dine, a dense rainstorm quickly passes through, revealing blue skies behind. For the first time, we feel like we have a handle on this Bahamas thing.

We venture to downtown Nassau and tour through the Pirate Museum where we were greeted by a jolly, yet characteristically nasty pirate – no Johnny Depp, I assure you but he was darling - can pirates be darling?? We walked a few miles to a “locals” recommended restaurant called The Fish Fry where we ate fried conch fritters and I finally got a rum drink. While the atmosphere of the restaurant was flimsy, at best (P.O.D. noted that he could see daylight through the cracks in the ceiling – I wish he would stop studying the architecture!) the food was very good and we felt like we were getting a real taste of the local culture.

We catch a cab home and spend the rest of our Halloween in bed in our jammies by 8 p.m. watching, ironically, “Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Man’s Chest”. P.O.D. and are I are asleep by 10 p.m. P.O.D. is feeling the effects of his cold and I am feeling the effect of conch fritters and rum.

Saturday is another day….we are making plans to visit the Queen Staircase and a military fort – both of which have been recommended as “must sees” while in Nassau. We are also making plans to dine at Café Matisse, one of the top rated restaurants on the island. Saturday should be a fun day….or will it….?

Find out in the final installment of “The Bahamas Experience” on Tuesday!