Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Sweet Mystery of Motherhood

A Letter To My Sister on her approaching baby shower.....
Dear Little A,

For whatever it is worth:

I often joke with friends and relatives that I was never meant to be a “Baby Mom”. I am awkward with tiny people and about the only thing I love to do is hold babies until they start to cry and then I hand them back to their mothers. Of course, I loved having my own babies and the experience was one that I would never trade but I was always the type that just couldn’t wait until they got older and I could relate to them in a different way. I have even flirted with the odd (yet beautiful) role of “grandmother-type” to a young lass as P.O.D. has been blessed with one of the most handsome and sweet grandsons on the planet. My relationship to P.O.D. gives me the assumed right to be able to purchase stuffed animals, show off photos to co-workers, and dote on him in order to give his parents a break. It is good practice, anyway, for the day when I officially take on a role of Grandma.

However, I must confess that these days I am finding myself more drawn to my devilishly handsome sons with whom I have discovered I can now relate to in a more adult-ish way. We can joke about more intellectual comedic moments that present themselves in our lives or on television. I am able to relate to their friends better. We can have great meaningful discussions about important life issues like politics, relationships, futures, goals, dreams….yes, sometimes even girls.

It has occurred to me that somewhere along the way, a line was crossed where they stopped being tiny people and have grown into young men. And, even, within that journey, I have discovered that we are now – dare I say? – raising each other.

This is a Sweet Mystery of Motherhood that moms and mom-types across the globe realize at some point during child-rearing but never really talk very openly about. You don’t discuss it at baby showers when you are discussing the pros and cons of organic baby food and cloth vs. disposable diapers. It isn’t shared during playdates, not even at parent organization meetings. Yet…it is one of those realizations that just washes over you one day when you are really not thinking much about it.

It is such a wonderful and satisfying part of raising children when you realize that you have not only participated in bringing up young people who are good-hearted and healthy but that they are also intelligent, witty, and possess a sense of humor beyond the “bodily noises that are funny” category. You somehow have this feeling of semi-accomplishment that they will be able to interact well with people and that your kids might actually be someone that other intelligent, witty, people might want to be around, as well.

Parenting is funny sometimes. It is such hard work and can be physically and emotionally exhausting but it is over before you know it and when you look back on it, you barely remember the things that were hard about it. I am halfway there to kicking my kids out from the nest and I know there will be a lot of wing-spreadin’ yet to do, but it is so nice to know that I am, at least working on building them a really great runway.
Good luck, Little A, as you and your "Banan-er" build a runway for your little birdies!
Love, Your Sis/1SweetMama

No comments: