Friday, July 31, 2009

My Love-Hate Relationship With My Lawn

You know when Summertime has arrived at the 1SweetMama household when my Friday night date is usually with someone who can be a little loud and obnoxious and is a little gassy and hard to turn lawnmower.

And by "lawnmower", I don't mean a sexy groundskeeper who manicures my lawn, shirtless, and cracks open a Diet Coke like that construction worker some years back that drove all the women wild in that commercial. "lawnmower", I mean my non-self-propelled, well-worn, pull start "Lawn Boy" push mower.

Now, I will set the stage by telling you that my backyard is, roughly, half a block long and 1/4 of a block wide yet when I mow it, it feels roughly the size of the National Mall in Washington DC. Oh...and one very important feature of my lawn to note is that even Jef Corwin - the wild animal guy on the Discovery Channel - would turn green at the number of snakes who have chosen to live in my yard. Yes, they, too, appreciate my lovely yard yet none of those rat ba$#ards have received the memo that if they live there, they have to step up and help out with the yard work. Oh, sure....they eat crickets and grubs and various 6- and 8-legged creatures what I hate just as much as snakes....but I say - "Not good enough. Get out of my lawn!!!"

I digress.

So, despite the heat and humidity, the lack of a self propelled (or riding) lawnmower, and sexy Diet Coke drinking groundskeeper....each week I trudge out to the garage, don my brown yard/work gloves and set to work on my lawn. I hate doing this.

I often joke about how I inherited my anal-retentive approach to lawn care from my father. My father - God love him!! - walks slower than any human I have ever seen that isn't actually standing still to very slowly and methodically mow his lawn. "If you walk too fast," he explains, "then you don't give the mower enough time to mulch up the grass!" It is for this very reason that we do not have (we share a lawn mower) a self-propelled mower.....because it will go too fast for his liking.

I am thinking it might be time to break from the communal lawnmower and purchase a self-propelled or a riding mower of my very own. Maybe one that is green and yellow with the initials know what I'm talkin' about!!

I also grew up watching my father hand-trim (with those little garden scissors) the lawn. It is for THIS reason, that, while I own an electric weed-whacker, I chose not to use it. I know I cause physical pain to my neighbors when they see me going around the yard after mowing it and hand trimming the grass blades around the edges of my house, trees, and flower garden with hand shears. Years of therapy has not allowed me to let go of this OCD behavior of mine.

But......and this is my saving grace......when I am done mowing and trimming and weeding and step back - after 2-3 hours of grounds keeping efforts - and look over my yard that my hearts swells with pride.

Years of annual investments into a fabulous yard care (chemical applications) company and weekly mowing and trimming with love have produced a lush and weed-free lawn. One of the finest on my block, if I dare be so bold.

While my ultimate dream is to own one of those 0 degree riding mowers that they use on Major League Baseball fields that lay the grass blades in wide strips so that you have alternating tones of green.....for now, I will settle for the old Lawn Boy...and I do not mean the guy who drinks that Diet Coke. is a labor of love. A job I love to hate and an end result that I love to show off. Truly, when I reflect on my beautifully manicured lawn.....I can appreciate another aspect of "The Sweet Life" in "The Ice Cream Capital of the World(R)".

Until next time, I remain....1SweetMama

No comments: