Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What The Hell Is That Thing??

We have all seen them. I know I see them as I am sitting, taking care of business, in the women’s restroom. I know! I know! What am I doing looking around when I should be quickly and efficiently “conducting my business”? I can’t help it. I look up and there it is…

What the hell is that thing??

Smoke detector? Motion detector? Both? Neither? “Big Brother” watching? Aliens? There are no signs identifying it. It just hangs there – a constant sentinel standing watch over the ladies’ restroom. There are actually two of them in there. They don’t do anything but blink…that is – a little green light alternately blinks on and off in a random blinking pattern. I am almost convinced that the blinking is in response to movement but I can’t be sure. There are also these two “eyes” that don’t do anything at all, except perhaps to watch me. They NEVER blink. Ever. Disturbing.

To test it, I sit “there”, VERY still and it doesn’t blink. After what I feel is an appropriate amount of time, I move my hand….and it blinks!! Or maybe it isn’t random at all and I am just impatient for shorter amounts of time than I think I am.

I AM aware that the lights in the bathroom are motion activated. There are times when I have walked into the bathroom and when I open the door, the lights turn on. If there is enough traffic through the bathroom, the lights stay on all day. If there is a lull in activity in there, the lights shut off.

But no one really knows what the “timer” is set at. Is that what that "thing" is for?

I don’t know!! There is no sign.

It just simply begs the question, “What the hell is that thing?”

There has been a lot of discussion in the office. We see this thing all over the corporate office and I have seen similar things in restaurants and shopping areas but it is very unsettling that a semi-intelligent woman, such as myself, cannot identify this "thing".

I know you are thinking that I am crazy for obsessing about it. Perhaps I am….or is it the aliens that are watching in me in the bathroom that make me think this way?

The mystery remains as we stare each other down in the ladies’ restroom.

Until next time, I remain….1SweetMama

P.S. If I might brag….before I leave you today, I want to tell you to strap on your “sweet-belts” because the next “bakers’ dozen” (13, for those of you who don’t like pastries) of blog posts will be the BEST ever. My posts will feature LOTS of birthdays, birth days (yes, there is a slight, but related, difference!), more Chef Duff encounters, stories about cakes and male anatomies…yes, they are related…., and ONE BIG, GI-NORMOUS SURPRISE!!! But, you’ll never know if you don’t read and tune in twice (Tuesdays and Fridays) each and every week to “The Sweet Life”.

Tell your friends. Grab your laptops and wi-fi hot spots and hang on. It is going to be one SWEET ride!


DanNan said...

That device is known as a fartometer. It's going off all the time in the men's room, because, after all...it's the men's room.

1SweetMama said...

Ha! Ha! YOu have, for once, left me speechless!! I got nuthin'!